


Pretty When You're Mine

by Beltenebra



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band), Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: BDSM, Blindfolds, Bondage, Collars, Facials, Humiliation, Light Angst, M/M, Mind Games, Smut, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 01:57:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8691994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beltenebra/pseuds/Beltenebra
Summary: Kame finds himself somewhere unexpected and contemplates how he got there.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for JE Squick Fic 2009.

When Kame first learned that he would be taking a lead role opposite Subaru, he was pretty thrilled. The other man was an accomplished vocalist and Kame hoped he could improve his own technique by working with him. By the time they were doing the show with Kanjani8, he and Subaru were completely comfortable with their roles and working with each other. They both tended to be very focused when working and kind of quiet when not; their manners suited each other well.

So he was surprised to find an odd sort of tension between them when summer brought the beginning of rehearsals for Dream Boys. They would be running a scene like normal and when it ended instead of Baru smiling and offering a water bottle Kame found him staring with a quiet intensity, like there was something he expected Kame to remember or notice but Kame was missing completely. He never did quite figure out why Baru chose him but he did eventually discover what it was the older man wanted.

*  
_They're in a dance studio walking through one of the boxing scenes. Although he's not going all out with the choreography, Subaru still moves like a panther, circling Kame with surprising grace. His eyes are hot and Kame can feel the heat pool in his own cheeks. He is unprepared for the twist in his gut when Subaru moves in close and locks eyes with him and it's intense, he can feel the burn all the way down his body. They stay frozen there for three seconds, two shaky breaths, and Subaru snaps. Kame's back is cool against the mirror and Subaru's burning mouth is on his. Subaru holds his shoulders back against the mirror firmly, with strength Kame didn't expect to see him use in earnest._

_He remembers that they didn't lock the door, anyone could come in and find them like this. Kame thought they would be hard pressed to pass off their current activities as character studies. His eyes snap open as Subaru forces Kame to meet his angry gaze, hand firm on Kame's chin. Dark eyes crackled with irritation and he growled, "Stop thinking"._

_Kame feels a clever hand slide down and across the band of skin at his waist, then lower. Kame complies._

*

That was how it started. He couldn't exactly recall now why he chose to let it continue, to progress even. He remembers being flattered by the attention and caught completely off guard by the way Subaru treated him, like there was no reason Kame could possibly have for not doing what he asked.

He found out quickly that Subaru was interested in more than normal, everyday sex. Not that the everyday sex wasn't good, Subaru had assured him, it's just that he was looking for something a little... different. They started with the best rough, take-no-prisoners, hard up against the wall sex Kame had ever had. Subaru liked to hold him down, catching Kame's hands and pinning them above his head, he found he didn't really mind. It was really difficult not to feel good when Subaru made him feel special, like he was worth all of that attention, worthy of being the center of that sharp focus.

*

_It takes weeks for Subaru to talk him into the ropes. He distinctly recalls the tilt of the other man's smile when he first proposed the idea. Kame had refused immediately and Subaru just smiled slyly, "But you're so good on the ropes in the show, Kame. You're strong and graceful and I know you've come to like working with them on stage. Aren't you at all curious?"_

_It's that stupid little smile that always gets him. It is just on the polite side of taunting, like Subaru is calling him out, asking him if he was scared. Well, he had been scared of heights and now he soared above the crowds nightly. Surely he could take this step, master this fear. 'And just maybe...' an insidious voice in his head whispers, 'the edge of panic makes it that much more appealing.'_

_So he lets Subaru tie him up._

_And it is kind of terrifying. He's naked and kneeling with his arms bound at the wrists and tied to his ankles, he isn't uncomfortable but a few surreptitious tugs tell him that the knots are quite secure. He can't stand up if he wants to, so he certainly can't run. A shiver trickles down his bare back at the thought and he is trying to decide whether it's a good or bad feeling, being so helpless, when Subaru comes to stand in front of him and tilts his chin up._

_Subaru's hand is firm on his jaw and he has no choice but to meet the other man's gaze. There is no doubt now that the thrill is very real. He is frozen by the naked lust in Subaru's eyes; like a pretty specimen, twisting and helpless, pinned through the gut to a velvet display board. He doesn't have to look down to know he's already hard and he's barely been touched. He can feel the faintest flush of embarrassment creep across his cheekbones but Subaru seems pleased, his lips curved up in a pleasant smile._

_Kame turns his head ever so slightly to lean into the hand Subaru slides along his cheek. He doesn't break eye contact, Subaru hasn't mentioned it, but he feels like it might be important._

_"You look so pretty like that, Kame-chan." Subaru breathes, his voice warm and low as he slides his free hand down his torso and toys with the clasp of his jeans. "I think I could get off just like this, just looking at you. You're still not sure you like this, are you?"_

_He seems to expect an answer, Kame isn't sure he trusted himself to give a coherent one. He was completely out of his element, all of his eloquence and self assurance had gone when Subaru pulled the knots tight. He just shakes his head very slightly so as not to disturb the hand Subaru had cupped against his cheek._

_And Subaru is pushing his pants down, touching himself. His voice has gone rough as a steady stream of filthy words falls from his lips. Kame can't help but moan softly at the sight, Subaru's hand moving roughly on his own cock, his face flushed, his hips jerking just a little into his touch. He didn't even realize he was struggling against his own bonds until Subaru slides his hand back into Kame's hair, twining his fingers into the strands and tightening his grip. Before Kame can react, Subaru groans and his body jerks as he comes in hot spurts on Kame's face. He freezes in shock and embarrassment, he feels the sticky fluid on his cheek, splattered over his lips._

_It should be disgusting, he ought to be livid. Subaru sinks to his knees in front of Kame with a contented sigh, "Did you hate that, Kame-chan?"_

_He's caught somewhere between humiliation and a desire that makes his whole body throb almost painfully. He hates that his voice sounds small, that he can't seem to keep it steady. "No... I didn't- not exactly."_

_Subaru's response is a soft chuckle before he leans in to delicately lick the mess off of Kame's face. 'His own come', Kame realizes with a jolt and now he aches, he needs to be touched. He feels dirty and a little used and incredibly turned on. Neither of them seem surprised when he comes almost as soon as Subaru wraps his lips around Kame's cock._

*

It was intense. That's what drew him in in the beginning. He had never had a lover who captivated him like Subaru, never had someone who took him so far away from his normal life. Once he got past his misgivings, being with Subaru was effortless... and each time it got easier. He found himself thinking about it during the day, wondering what Subaru might have planned, what he would ask. He wondered when he had become so easily distracted.

*

_Subaru had whispered in his ear halfway through morning rehearsal that he had a surprise for him, so he should definitely come over tonight. He is doing his damnedest not to let his distraction show. He angles a glance at Subaru who was listening attentively to the director's notes, nodding and interjecting an occasional question. He likes to think of himself as the consummate professional and he must be doing something right because no one has noticed that he's spent most of the day in a daze, his mind racing through possibilities._

_He has to stay later than just about everyone that night and by the time he's finally done he is antsy with anticipation. He wonders if he should worry how eager he has become to spend his nights with Subaru but he pushes the thought to the back of his mind for the moment. He doesn't even make the pretense of going to his own place first, just goes straight to Subaru's apartment. As usual, he can feel the atmosphere change as soon as he pushes open the door. With them there is never any lead in. No joking, no shift from friends and colleagues to lovers, as soon as they are alone it's just him and Subaru and a delicious tension between them that borders on pain._

_Subaru is waiting for him, lounging indolently on the couch in nothing but a pair of loosely draped linen pants that cling to his hips, the black fabric makes his skin glow pale and his eyes look impossibly dark. Kame closes the door and hovers near it, he's waiting for Subaru to make his move. He would never willingly admit that he is waiting for Subaru to tell him what he wants of him, he thinks he is becoming far too comfortable with how much he likes taking orders from the other man._

_In their job it is impossible to achieve any success if you don't know how to take direction. Take this drama role, tilt your head to the left, sing the songs in that order, don't be caught doing A, B, or C... Kame is an accomplished Johnny, he's good at following orders but he has always strived for an active role in his life as an idol. He engages directors, photographers, and managers, asks them for the reasons behind their demands and offers his own suggestions. He is no pushover, as he is sure any of his bandmates would be happy to inform you, he doesn't really let people get away with much._

_And yet with Subaru it feels natural to go against every one of his usual inclinations. And he finds himself here, pressed up against the door, quiet, passive, waiting as Subaru rakes a hot gaze up and down his body. Subaru smiles a lazy, slow smile and tips his head slightly indicating that Kame should come to him. He makes his way across the floor, feet nearly soundless on the smooth wood. He keeps his hands at his sides, fingers curled into loose fists to keep them from reaching out, from betraying his need though he is sure Subaru has no illusions at this point about how much Kame wants him. He glides to a stop in front of Subaru, the other man's hand catches one of his before he can sink down onto his knees. Baru pulls him down into his lap, Kame situates himself with his legs on either side of Baru's. He's looking down a few centimeters into those dark, dark eyes, the wheels in his mind spinning in multiple directions, some trying to discern what Baru might want with him tonight while the majority of his brain tells him to stop analyzing. Baru grins like he can hear Kame's conflicted thoughts and pulls him into a slow, hot kiss._

_It's impossible to think then, impossible when all of his being is concentrating on the slide of Baru's lips against his, on the way Baru's strong hands slide up into his hair to hold him in place, on the press of their bodies nearly as close as bodies can be. Every time Baru touches him it's like a circuit being completed, he feels a switch being flipped inside of him and he lights up. Or maybe it's more like a chemical reaction, something about the way they interact that changes his essence, makes him into something new... or purifies him, breaks him down, allowing some trace elements of his personality to be laid bare. All he knows is that the person he is now he can only be here, alone in Subaru's arms._

_He doesn't know how many minutes have passed when Subaru pulls back and smiles at the small sound of disappointment he can't contain. Baru's voice is low and pleased when he asks, "Don't you want to ask me about the surprise, Kame-chan?"_

_Of course he does and Subaru knows it. He settles for nodding._

_"You seem to be enjoying yourself so far, I thought we could take our little games a step farther." Subaru's voice sent an anticipatory shiver down his spine but he doesn't take his eyes off of Subaru's until the older man reaches off to the side and picks something up, dangling it between them. Kame's eyes widen at the sight of the collar._

_It's lovely, plain black and looks supple to the touch, it has a simple silver buckle and one d-ring. Before he knows what he is doing, he's stretched out a hand to trace the curve of the leather. It's smooth and surprisingly weighty in his hands. His breath quickens just holding the thing and imagining what it might feel like around his neck. Kame's no stranger to jewelry in his line of work, he's worn chokers before but he is acutely aware, as he turns it over and over, how very different this is from anything he's encountered before. Baru is watching him intently and Kame knows that the implications of putting it on make this simple bit of leather and silver so much heavier than it feels._

_"Do you like it?"_

_Such an easy question. Yes or no. Deceptively simple like the object in his hands. Did he like it? Voluntarily putting this on would be giving Baru more control over him than he ever had. More so even than being knotted up and tied, the collar signified_ ownership _. The thought acknowledging that he belonged to this man in some way floods his body with a heady cocktail of nerves and lust. His hands are trembling, his body feels hot, like he has some kind of flash fever. There is no doubt in his mind what his answer is. He nods again._

_Subaru smiles wider and Kame swears his heart is going to hammer its way out of his chest. Baru takes the collar back from him and leans forward to murmur against the shell of his ear as he fits the collar in place, "Let me"._

_Subaru's deft hands secure the clasp and the quiet snick of the metal echoes in Kame's ears. Though the only thing restraining him is the collar around his neck his chest feels tight like it was crisscrossed with the ropes. He can hear the pulse of his blood, the rush of emotion and he knows then with perfect certainty that he is lost._

_He figures he must look happy, because Subaru seems pleased. The older man produces another length of leather, attaching it to the ring. Of course, why not that as well, it's a logical step after all. Subaru looks back up at him again through his lashes and asks again, with a coy lilt in his voice, clearly expecting a particular response, "Do you like it, Kazuya?"_

_The words roll off his lips like they had always belonged there, "Yes, Master."_

_The light in Subaru's eyes goes wicked and he wraps the leash tight around his hand, using it to tug Kame back down and press their lips together. His eyes flutter closed at the touch of Subaru's tongue and he can't hold back the soft sob that could just as easily be a moan, and maybe it is. He doesn't know if he should be anguished or relieved that Subaru has no idea that Kame is in love with him._

*  
He knew it was a terrible idea, this whatever-they-had-going. A secret affair... well, it wasn't really an affair because they weren't cheating on anyone but they certainly weren't telling people they were anything more than friends and co-workers. Maybe Subaru really did see it as an extension of their friendship, they worked so well together on stage, why not this way as well. They were clearly both enjoying themselves.

Except that for Kame it had gone so much farther. He hadn't meant to. He admired the other man so much, respected him as a performer. Kame was no stranger to mutual admiration turning into a physical relationship. They all had to let off steam and it was more difficult than it ought to be to find people you could trust. But he had fallen into this with an ease that alarmed him. Something about the way Subaru shifted effortlessly from the role of a respected colleague to a commanding lover captivated him. He wondered what it must be like to be that comfortable in your own skin.

It was like a drug, the feeling of turning all control over to someone else, letting go of his responsibilities and inhibitions at least for a while. It was what kept him coming back time and again though he was sure he was in too deep.

*

 _He is helpless, bound and gagged and blindfolded. He doesn't have any orders to issue, no decisions to make, all he has to do is feel. And he can feel so very much. His hands are secured above his head, his legs spread wide so he can't reach out, he can only accept what Subaru gives him. The blindfold takes his sight and the loss of it makes all of the other sensations so much_ more _._

 _The slip of Subaru's hand up the inside of his thigh is electric, one of his nipples is pinched roughly and his back arches up from the sensation. He feels like it has been hours, Subaru has teased him, tormented him, pushed him to the knife's edge of pleasure and kept him there. They have had sex before but this is deeper than Kame has ever gone. He feels like every touch, every brush of Subaru's hands and lips against his body is breaking him down, slowly shaking the pieces of his self apart and scattering them beyond his reach. He feels like he is losing his mind and it feels_ so good _._

_Subaru slides two fingers into him and it's not so much a surprise as a sharp spike in the ambient level of pleasure. He writhes in his bonds but Subaru ties his knots well and Kame can only move enough to keep his muscles from locking up, not enough to make Subaru touch him like he wants him to. Subaru talks to him though he knows Kame can't answer. They say that love is blind, in his case it's also mute and Kame is thankful for that. Thankful because Subaru is finally, finally pushing into him and it feels like a missing piece sliding into place. Subaru starts to move and Kame is unraveling, the last of those carefully constructed barriers are crumbling down like barricades made of ash. And he is so glad for the strips of cloth across eyes and mouth, the bindings keeping Subaru from seeing Kame's heart in his gaze, keeping all of those traitorous words from falling down into this space between them._

_He can feel the pressure building with each thrust, like a wave coming from a long way off he can see it but has no hope of avoiding it. Subaru's hands are tight on Kame's hips and his groans sound desperate now. Here, so close to the end, Subaru has abandoned all finesse and is pounding into him, flooding him with white hot fire. The wave is breaking over him and he's being pulled under, awash in sensation and he can't move, can't think, can't breathe._

_It takes him a long time to come back to himself. He's blinking in the too bright light and his body feels odd, heavy, like it doesn't quite belong to him. Subaru has undone all of the ties and bindings and cleaned him up. He has just enough energy to turn to look at Subaru as he settles down next to him with a bright, satisfied grin. He finds no echo of the emotions raging inside him, plenty of respect and affection, desire for sure, and appreciation, but no trace of longing. No sign that Subaru's heart is caught up in this interaction, not like his: bound more securely with every twist of rope, every firm knot, every tug on the leash, every smooth command..._

_He let his eyes drift closed again, wishing the blindfold was still in place, wishing he had an excuse not to see._

*

That was the beginning of the end, he could see that much.

It was the end of another successful performance and instead of mingling with the cast and crew to celebrate Kame found himself sitting off to the side, watching.

Yasuda and Maruyama had come to see the show and Subaru had been giddy with excitement the whole day. He was a warmer version of the man Kame knew, closer to the one he remembered when he was with the rest of his group.

Kame had asked him about it, when he had first realized how he felt about Subaru. He had asked if Subaru had ever been in love.

Subaru's answering smile was soft, it had elements of the shy smile Kame saw him use when he had to talk to people he didn't know well, the same smile he himself had received when they first introduced themselves. But it was different, it was warmer and more vulnerable. His dark eyes were miles away, with none of the focus they always had when he was really looking at Kame.

"I have someone I love, they just don't know it yet."

Seeing him with his groupmates it was clear as crystal to Kame what Baru had been talking about. He watched as the other man chattered a mile a minute with Yasuda, slid under Maruyama's welcoming arm and leaned into his touch. He seemed warm and open in a way he had never been with Kame. Yasuda said something that made Subaru blush and _giggle_ , and Kame knew the piece of Baru he had would only ever be just that, a _piece_. Subaru would never come to him for the comfort of being close to him. He honestly couldn't say what Subaru got from their encounters but it wasn't what he needed. He would never have those shy, adoring glances cast his way. 

He watched Subaru leave with Yasuda's arm looped over his shoulders and his free hand tangled with Maruyama's, all of them perfectly at ease. He hoped that Subaru wouldn't wait to tell them how he felt.

Kame raised a hand to rub absently at the back of his neck. He could still feel the weight of the collar.


End file.
